Aname ([info]blondie_gurl85) wrote,
2005-07-28 15:36:00
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  • Mood: depressed

I don't know what to do

I have a problem. And i've had it for a long long time, most ppl know cause i complain about it all the freakin time.

I have an image problem, my mom and dad pointed that out to me today, i get comsumed about everything i eat and i feel guilty whenever i eat anything bad, so then i wont eat. No i don't have an eating disorder, but I don't understand why i can't be happy with the way i look, I try i really do, and i pray all the time, i should be happy cause God made me this way but i hate the way i look i really do, i hate my body, i hate my face, i get mad at myself, and it seems like everytime I like start to really like someone they're unavailable all the time this happens to me, and i work out non-stop and nothing works for me.

I guess it's because my mom (naturally) when she was my age weighed only 100 pounds and was so skinny and was a model, she did catwalk and found the guy she was going to marry, i so desperatly want to model, i've always wanted to, but, i've never really mentioned it to anyone cause i was afraid they would laugh in my face, but also you have to 5'8" or above and weigh like 100 pounds.

I want to cry everytime i look in the mirror, i hate what i see and...i don't even know if should even post this it's been bogging over me for about 6 years now and i don't know what to do.

I know ppl tell that i look nice and that i don't need to chage anything, but it's me i'm not satisfied with what i see and i don't know what to do, why do i have these problems, i've always thought i'm a good person, i know some ppl think i am a spoiled brat, witch i admit i am spoiled a little and i thank god for the things that i have but if me hurting mentaly and emotionaly is worth this, then i'm in over my head and can't get out.

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  • 17 comments

[info]fighteyes

July 28 2005, 22:43:38 UTC 6 years ago

:)

Girl, you are a beautiful women.
You have an amazing personality and a huge heart.

You are awesome!

[info]blondie_gurl85

July 29 2005, 04:01:16 UTC 6 years ago

Re: :)

Thank you!!

[info]spamerella

July 28 2005, 23:13:18 UTC 6 years ago

Amanda,

I am shocked to hear this from you of all people. You are seriously one of the people I am jealous of. You seem so perfect to me in every way, and I am not overexaggerating here either. I know we all feel a little "imperfect" at times. But, I seriously don't know what you got to worry about. I'm totally jealous. And I know folks who think you're hot too!

[info]blondie_gurl85

July 29 2005, 04:02:54 UTC 6 years ago

Wow, i'm flattered, I know i've been suffering this for a long time since i was like 13 or 14, but thanks for your support

[info]srmcmullen

July 28 2005, 23:38:15 UTC 6 years ago

amanda,
i'm not sure what to say. it hasn't been until lately that i've come to accept who i am and who God has made me to be. for the longest time (as in my whole life) i thought i had to hide my body behind baggy clothes and t-shirts and all that mess....but recently(as in the past week) God has truly shown me what it is to be breath taking. it HONESTLY doesn't matter what i look like. and i know that is almost EVERY girl's struggle, and something they don't want to hear. but amanda, you are beautiful, and i could say that all day, but until you can look at yourself and say it, it doesn't matter worth a hill of beans. but my friend you are, and i say this with the most love i can muster! can i suggest a book for you to read? it's Captivating. It is written by Stasi and John Eldridge. I am reading it right now, and you can get it a pretty much any Christian book store. it is so good, and it hurts sometimes to read it, but it really makes you look at who you are, and who God sees you as. i think it would help you a lot. i love you girl!! no matter what you look like, or what you think you look like! ;-) by the way...5 days!!! WHOOP!

[info]blondie_gurl85

July 29 2005, 04:07:23 UTC 6 years ago

Shelly, thanks you so much, you always have the right thing to say and can always make me feel better, this is a struggle that i have been going through for a long time and i'm trying i truley am. I love you too and i prob should get that book maybe it can explain some things to me...but thank you and i'll just keep praying, cause that's all i can do.

[info]srmcmullen

July 29 2005, 12:35:02 UTC 6 years ago

anytime friend...anytime...i am convencend that i what i am here for. to help my friends through whatever they may be going through. know that i am ALWAYS here if you ever need anything. just a phone call away 99.9% of the time i will answer...unless i can't. :-) later days friend

[info]blondie_gurl85

July 29 2005, 12:48:21 UTC 6 years ago

:)

Anonymous

July 29 2005, 01:01:02 UTC 6 years ago

Amanda, you are an exceptional girl. Inside and out. I mean that with all my sincerity.

[info]meriomeri

July 29 2005, 01:01:28 UTC 6 years ago

that was me

[info]blondie_gurl85

July 29 2005, 04:08:23 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you, that means a lot

[info]rt_aylor

July 29 2005, 01:21:26 UTC 6 years ago

I'm not even sure what to really say here. On some level people might be mad because you have so much going for you and yet you can't or refuse to appreciate yourself, or there's some sort of sympathy for you.

Face it.
You'll probibly never be the little cracked out, tiny super model that you want to be. And quit trying to compare and make yourself look like someone you're not. You are, no doubt, very attractive, and every guy I know would/does agree. You're beautiful in a very natural, girl next door kind of look. I dont think it's physical beauty thats your problem.

Guy's like girls who are fun to be with and stuff. Not some gal that sits around complaining about her appearance and can't enjoy herself.

Much love
♥
I hope you figure it out someday.

[info]blondie_gurl85

July 29 2005, 04:09:51 UTC 6 years ago

Thanks, me too
:)

[info]pretty_hmachine

July 29 2005, 01:22:47 UTC 6 years ago

Amanda, first off..i think you're wonderful the way you are inside and out.

second, it takes a strong person to admit something like this.
i'm proud of you.

i think, and i feel bad because i'm the only one suggesting this, but maybe talking to someone would help a bit. i'm here for you (even if i am a bit unavailable right now) and yell if you want to talk. i'm serious.
♥

[info]blondie_gurl85

July 29 2005, 04:10:55 UTC 6 years ago

Thanks, that really means a lot to me

[info]letdowntourist

July 29 2005, 02:41:31 UTC 6 years ago

i don't understand how the prettiest people can feel that way. you should be very very happy with who you are, you don't have a reason not to be. i'm around if you need anything.

[info]blondie_gurl85

July 29 2005, 04:12:04 UTC 6 years ago

I don't know....

thank you
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